Shopping is an integral part of our lives. For some, it’s simply a means of buying things that bring comfort and ease to their daily routines. But for others, it can serve as a form of escapism, where they shop for their fantasy self instead of for things that they actually need.
If shopping for your fantasy self has become a source of financial burden, it’s important to take steps to regain control of your shopping habits.
In this post we’ll explore some practical tips and strategies for breaking the cycle of excessive shopping and finding fulfillment in life beyond material possessions.
Let’s get into it.
The Concept of Shopping for Your Fantasy Self
“Shopping for your fantasy self” refers to the act of buying things that align with an idealized version of yourself, rather than your current reality. This includes buying clothes, accessories, or other items that fit the image you want to present to the world, regardless of whether or not it accurately reflects your current lifestyle or identity.
How do you know if you’re shopping for your fantasy self?
Ask yourself the following questions before swiping your credit card:
- Does this article of clothing suit my lifestyle?
- Will I feel comfortable and confident wearing this item?
- Does this item align with my personal style or does it represent an idealized version of myself?
- Am I buying this item because it serves a practical purpose in my life?
- Is this purchase motivated by a desire to satisfy my own needs, or am I trying to impress others?
- Would I still want to wear this item in the future, or is it just a temporary, fleeting impulse?
By asking yourself these questions, you’ll be able to establish whether a purchase is practical or a means of shopping for your fantasy self.
Now, let’s get into the root causes of this behavior.
Root Causes
Shopping for one’s fantasy self has become increasingly prevalent in modern society. And there are many reasons why people turn to shopping as a way of escaping the challenges of everyday life. These motivations can be psychological, social or cultural.
Understanding why you’re shopping for your fantasy self is the first step to regaining control.
Below are some common root causes for why people find themselves shopping for their fantasy selves. Think about which one resonates with you.
- Low self-esteem or insecurity: People who have a negative self-image may use shopping as a way of escaping their insecurities.
- Boredom or a need for distraction: Shopping can be a way to pass time or distract oneself from the monotony or stress of everyday life.
- Social or cultural pressure: Society puts pressure on us to follow trends and conform to certain beauty standards as a way of fitting in. Which may cause people to buy things they otherwise wouldn’t.
- Social media influence: Do you feel compelled to buy things that your favorite influencers are advertising on social media? Most of the time, you don’t need these items. You are buying them because a part of you believes that if you do, your life will resemble that of the influencer.
- Emotional needs: For some people, shopping can be a form of self-expression and a way to satisfy emotional needs such as a desire for love, validation, or acceptance.
- Mental health issues: Shopping can also be a manifestation of underlying mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, or compulsive disorders.
Now that you know why you may be shopping for your fantasy self, let’s get into the impact that this behavior can have on your life.
Impact
Shopping for your fantasy self will have negative and positive impacts on your life. It’s important to recognize that the positive impacts are fleeting, but I wanted to include them anyway.
Positive impacts:
- Boost in self-esteem and confidence: Shopping for a fantasy self can temporarily boost your self-esteem and confidence.
- Improved mood: Shopping releases endorphins which can improve your mood. This is the same reason why shopping is incredibly addicting for some people.
- Increased sense of identity: Shopping for items that reflect your desired self-image can give you a sense of identity. This can help you feel more confident in expressing yourself.
Negative impacts:
- Financial stress: Shopping for your fantasy self can be expensive, and if you’re not careful, it can quickly lead to financial stress.
- Materialism: Focusing too much on material possessions can lead to a materialistic lifestyle, where your self-worth is tied to what you own.
- Disregard for personal values: Shopping for a fantasy self can distract you from your personal values and goals. This can lead you down a path that doesn’t align with your authentic self.
- Clutter: Buying things that are impractical leads to clutter. And you know what they say, a cluttered space leads to a cluttered mind.
It’s easy to find yourself shopping for your fantasy self. Luckily, there are ways to break the cycle once and for all!
How to Break the Cycle of Shopping for Your Fantasy Self
Breaking the cycle of shopping for your fantasy self boils down to identifying practical purchases from impractical purchases. This can help you recognize whether you are buying something you need vs shopping for your fantasy self.
Before making a purchase, consider the following factors:
1. Consider Your Lifestyle
When shopping for your fantasy self, you aren’t considering your day to day life. Instead, you are buying things that align with the fantasy version of yourself.
In order to regain control of your shopping habits it’s important to only buy things that are practical. Considering your lifestyle will help you decipher whether a purchase is practical or impractical. And remember, buying things won’t change your life circumstances.
Buying a bunch of bikinis won’t magically transport you to a beach vacation. And owning cute workout outfits won’t turn you into a fitness influencer.
Buying new clothes won’t buy you a new life. So instead of buying things to create a life you don’t have, buy things for the life you do have. When shopping, think about your hobbies, what you wear to work, and what you do for fun on the weekends. If you don’t go out very often, resist the urge to buy that fancy dress. On the flip side, if clubbing is a regular weekend past time for you, a fancy dress might come in handy!
Ultimately, considering your lifestyle is an important step in breaking the cycle of compulsive shopping.
2. Consider the Climate You Live In
It’s important to consider the climate you live in when trying to stop shopping for your fantasy self. Your climate can influence what you wear, how you spend your free time and what activities you engage in.
For example, if you live in a region with harsh winters, you’ll want to buy warm clothing and accessories to stay comfortable. On the other hand, if you live in a warm climate, you should buy summer-specific items such as swimwear and sandals.
If you live by the mountains, you may want to invest in several clothing pieces that’ll keep you warm while you engage in winter sports. However, if skiing or snowboarding is a rare occurrence for you, buying gear in hopes that you’ll use it may be a form of shopping for your fantasy self.
By considering the climate you live in, you can be more mindful of the practicality of your purchases.
3. Avoid Shopping Trends
Following trends can perpetuate the creation of a fantasy self. This is because trends are typically started by fashion influencers and celebrities. Many people idolize celebrities and influencers and believe that by dressing the same way that they do, they will be more like them. But the reality is that dressing like someone won’t give you their life.
4. Consider Scenarios You Find Yourself In
Consider your daily routines and activities, such as running errands, working, exercising, or hanging out with friends. As you imagine these scenarios, think about what you wear. If you run errands in a ball gown, more power to you! Buy more of them. But, if your daily outfits are pretty casual, that’s what you want to shop for.
If you frequently engage in outdoor activities, you’ll need clothing that is comfortable, such as breathable tops, sturdy footwear, and a hat for sun protection. On the other hand, if you have a more sedentary lifestyle, you should shop for clothing that is comfortable for long periods of sitting, made with soft, stretchy materials.
By considering the scenarios you find yourself in, you can avoid buying items that are only suitable for a fantasy version of yourself. Instead, you can focus on purchasing items that are useful and practical for your actual life.
This can not only save you money and reduce clutter, but it can also help you build a wardrobe that truly reflects who you are and the life you live.
5. Avoid ‘What if’ Pieces
In order to stop shopping for your fantasy self, you need to stop buying ‘what if’ pieces.
These are pieces of clothing that you are buying just in case you may need them someday. They are often based on hypothetical scenarios or situations that may never come to fruition. For example, you may be tempted to buy a formal gown for a fancy event that you might attend in the future, but if you rarely have the opportunity to dress up, the gown may end up collecting dust in your closet.
So, it’s better to focus on the clothing that you will actually wear and that aligns with your current lifestyle and daily activities.
How to Overcome Obstacles
Now that you know what steps to take to stop shopping for your fantasy self, I’ve got some bad news for you. It’s easier said than done.
We live in a consumerist society that is constantly selling us things that we don’t need. Selling a ‘fantasy’ is a huge marketing tactic. So, it’s important to understand how to overcome certain obstacles along your journey to ending the cycle of shopping for your fantasy self.
Let’s get into it.
1. Dealing With Temptation and Triggers
One of the biggest challenges in overcoming the habit of shopping for your fantasy self is managing temptations and triggers.
Here are some ways to deal with temptations and triggers when trying to stop shopping for your fantasy self:
- Identify your triggers: Understanding what triggers your impulse to shop for your fantasy self can help you avoid these situations or prepare for them in advance. Write down the situations, emotions, or influences that often lead you to make impulsive purchases.
- Practice mindfulness: Take a moment to pause and reflect on your thoughts and feelings before making a purchase. Ask yourself whether you are shopping for your fantasy self or if the item is something that you will actually use in your daily life.
- Make a shopping list: Plan your shopping trips in advance. Make a list of the items that you actually need and stick to it!
- Limit exposure to shopping stimuli: Try to limit your exposure to shopping stimuli, such as advertisements, social media, and retail stores.
- Seek support: Consider seeking support from a friend, therapist or partner. It can help to have someone to keep you accountable.
- Find alternative activities: Find alternative activities that bring you joy and fulfillment outside of shopping. This can help you redirect your attention from shopping as a means of entertainment.
Remember that breaking any habit takes time and effort, and it’s okay to slip up. The important thing is to keep trying and to stay focused on your goal of avoiding shopping for your fantasy self.
2. Coping With Setbacks
Dealing with setbacks can be difficult, but it’s important to remember that they are a normal part of the process of change.
When coping with setbacks, it’s important to be kind to yourself. Instead of beating yourself up over a slip-up, reflect on the reasons behind it and set new goals to help yourself get back on track.
If you are shopping for your fantasy self as a form of self soothing, finding alternative ways to cope, such as exercise, meditation, or journaling.
Lastly, always celebrate your progress. Whether that’s resisting the temptation to make an impulse purchase for a day, a week or a year. No matter how small, acknowledging your hard work can help keep you motivated.
3. Maintaining Progress and Staying Accountable
In the beginning, it may be easy to stop shopping for your fantasy self. But over time, you may face more temptations and triggers. This can make it harder to maintain progress and stay accountable.
Here are some ways to maintain progress and stay accountable when trying to stop shopping for your fantasy self:
- Track your progress: Keep a record of your progress, such as a journal or spreadsheet, to help you stay motivated and see how far you’ve come.
- Set achievable goals: Set actionable goals for yourself, such as reducing the number of impulsive purchases you make or sticking to a budget. This can help you stay focused and motivated.
- Find an accountability partner: Having someone to hold you accountable, such as a friend or therapist, can help you stay on track and motivated.
- Reward yourself: Celebrate your progress by rewarding yourself for reaching milestones or goals. Just make sure not to treat yourself with an impulsive purchase! Instead, treat yourself to a movie or a special meal.
- Be honest with yourself: Be honest with yourself about any setbacks. Instead of ignoring them, make changes moving forward so that it doesn’t happen again. This will help you stay accountable and motivated to reach your goals.
Remember that change takes time and effort, and it’s important to stay committed and motivated to reach your goals.
By tracking your progress, setting achievable goals, rewarding yourself and being honest with yourself, you can maintain your progress and stay accountable in your journey to stop shopping for your fantasy self.
In Conclusion
Shopping for your fantasy self can be a difficult habit to break, but it is possible with the right mindset and strategies. By being aware of your triggers and temptations and setting achievable goals you can stay motivated and on track.
Remember that change takes time and effort, and setbacks are a normal part of the process. Just stay focused on the benefits of a more realistic wardrobe and financial stability. By staying committed and accountable, you can break the cycle of shopping for your fantasy self and embrace a more fulfilling and sustainable lifestyle!
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