Ever thought about the connection between minimalism and FOMO (fear of missing out)?
Minimalism is all about intentionally simplifying your life, creating more space, time, money, and energy for the things that truly matter. While this lifestyle is both life-changing and empowering, it may lead you to opt out of activities your friends enjoy, such as shopping or certain hobbies. You might even find yourself distancing from people your friends are still close to, potentially resulting in fewer invitations to gatherings. And, of course, all of this comes at a price: dealing with FOMO.
If FOMO is getting in the way of your minimalism journey, stay tuned! I’ll share six ways to overcome it so that you can fully embrace the minimalist lifestyle.
What is FOMO (Fear of Missing Out)?
The Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) is that pervasive and often anxiety-inducing feeling that you’re missing out on rewarding experiences or events happening in the lives of others. It’s the fear that others are participating in activities, social gatherings, or opportunities that are more enjoyable, interesting, or fulfilling than what you’re currently doing. This often leads to feelings of inadequacy.
6 Ways to Overcome FOMO as a Minimalist
As a minimalist, you intentionally simplify your life, and in doing so, you may exclude yourself from what others are doing. This can lead to FOMO or worsen already existing feelings of FOMO.
Below are six ways to overcome the fear of missing out as a minimalist so that you can continue to simplify your life without getting bogged down by what everyone around you is doing.
1. Communicate Your Feelings
My closest group of friends is a three-way friendship. And you know what they say… three’s a crowd. I don’t typically agree with this sentiment, but it’s hard to pretend like I always feel super secure in this friendship dynamic.
When the two of them are spending time together without me, it can bring up feelings of inadequacy. Even though I understand that I spend time with each of them individually too, it’s hard to stay rational when I’m dealing with feelings of jealousy.
Being a minimalist doesn’t help. Let me explain.
This year, they’ve gotten really into backcountry skiing. Unfortunately, there’s a pretty steep cost to entry. To get into your perfect backcountry setup, it costs between $2000 and $2500. Not only do I not want to own all this extra gear, but that’s more money than I have to spend. Plus, I’d be sacrificing more than just money. As a beginner skier, I’d need a lot of solo practice to get to the point where I could join them on the slopes. I’d need to say “no” to certain hobbies and activities I already enjoy to make time to practice.
For these reasons, I decided to opt out of backcountry skiing this year. And boy did I feel the FOMO when they would go without me. So what did I do? Although it was uncomfortable and a little embarrassing, I decided to talk to them about it. And guess what? They both felt the same way! Not about skiing specifically, but about other things in our friendship. Having this open and vulnerable conversation with them not only made me feel more understood and accepted, but it made me realize that EVERYONE experiences FOMO.
2. Change Your Mindset
No matter what you do, you’ll always miss out on SOMETHING.
For instance, let’s say that I did decide to take up backcountry skiing this year. By making this decision, I would have missed out on so many other things. I didn’t know it at the time, but just a month into ski season, a long-distance friend invited me to be her plus one at a wedding in Puerto Rico!
When I moved from Texas to Washington a couple of years ago, I told myself that I would travel somewhere warm and sunny every winter to keep the rainy, gray Washington weather from getting to me. I wasn’t able to pull it off last year (because I had planned so many other things), but by saying “no” to backcountry skiing this year, I had the resources to say “yes” to this trip.
The way I see it, if something isn’t a full-body “yes,” it should be a “no.” After all, we have a limited amount of resources (time, money, space, etc.), so it’s important to make sure that the things we choose to do excite us. Remember that saying “yes” to something you’re not that excited about might mean saying “no” to something you are down the road.
3. Romanticize Your Alone Time
Many of us tend to view our alone time as just a gap between other activities, rather than as a valuable activity in itself.
To conquer your FOMO, I challenge you to treat your solo time as intentionally as you would time spent with a friend. Ask yourself, what do I want to do with my time? How can I make my alone time more enjoyable, engaging, or relaxing? Maybe it means lighting a candle and creating a nice ambiance while you spend the evening reading, or cooking a yummy meal instead of settling for a microwavable dinner.
By romanticizing your alone time, you’ll enjoy it so much more. As a result, you won’t be as preoccupied with what other people are doing.
4. Get off Social Media
We all know that social media fuels FOMO. There’s nothing quite like seeing people’s highlight reels to make you feel as though your relationships aren’t enough, you’re not doing enough, or you don’t own enough stuff.
There’s a simple solution here, although it’s hard to admit: Just get off social media. Or better yet, delete your social media accounts altogether.
Personally, the only social media accounts I have are for my blog. Because they’re for my blog, I don’t follow anyone that I know. In fact, the only account I follow is Julia from Rich in What Matters because I find that her posts inspire me. I haven’t had a personal social media account since high school, and even then, it was only ever Facebook. And guess what? I was never shunned or alienated for it. In fact, I only ever get positive reactions when I tell people I’m not on social media.
If deleting your social media accounts altogether seems like a big lift, cutting back on your phone usage will help a ton! Here are 15 tips to cut down on mindless scrolling and 10 things to do instead of scrolling social media at work.
5. Create a Minimalist Bucket List
When I started my minimalist journey, I realized that I would need to make some sacrifices. I would need to sacrifice some of my belongings, relationships, and hobbies in order to curate a life full of things, people, and experiences that truly matter to me.
In the process of simplifying my life, I realized that by letting go of certain things, I would also gain others. For instance, by sacrificing shopping sprees and meaningless friendships, I would have more time, money, and energy to put towards deepening my existing relationships and going on trips that I wasn’t able to afford in the past.
To keep myself on track (and prevent feeling FOMO over what others were doing), I decided to create a minimalist bucket list. In this list were things that I hoped to accomplish with my newly freed-up resources. Anytime I feel FOMO, I revisit this list and remind myself of how much I’ve been able to “check off” by saying “no” to certain things. It also reignites my excitement for my own journey and validates my decision to simplify my life.
Below is my current minimalist bucket list:
- Travel somewhere warm every winter
- Travel abroad with a big group of friends
- Take a class (or two!) at the community college
- Run a marathon
- Take Jiu-Jitsu
- Learn a new language (Thai or Japanese, still deciding!)
- Go to Burning Man and Electric Forest
- Learn a musical instrument
- Attend a mindfulness retreat
So, ask yourself, have you been so preoccupied keeping up with the Jones’s that you now spend hundreds of dollars on a storage unit a month to house a bunch of stuff you don’t really need? If so, what could you do if you got rid of the stuff and put that money towards something else?
6. Connect with Like-Minded People
Last but not least, connect with like-minded people. If everyone you surround yourself with is obsessed with social media, shopping, going out, and partying, you’ll feel FOMO way more than if you surround yourself with people who share the same values.
For instance, I know that just because I said “no” to backcountry skiing this year, that doesn’t mean that I’ll never see my friends again. We have plenty of other activities we enjoy doing together that align with my lifestyle. Whereas, if backcountry skiing was just one of many activities I didn’t participate in, those feelings of FOMO would be way more intense.
If connecting with like-minded people seems overwhelming or impossible, trust me, you’re not alone. I struggled to make friends for a VERY long time. If you’d like to hear about my experience, I recently wrote a blog post about what steps I took to finally start developing meaningful friendships. It’s geared towards making friends in your 20s, but the advice is relevant to anyone, regardless of age. Click here to give it a read!
So, there you have it—six ways to overcome FOMO as a minimalist.
In the comments below, let me know what your minimalism journey has been like so far! Have you experienced FOMO? If yes, what has helped you overcome it?
Betsy says
Great article. I’m in my early 70’s and I’m trying to clear out all excess. I’ve been on this journey for about 20 years and having less is great for releaving stress. My 2 closest friends are still shopping any chance they get and don’t bother asking me to go with them any longer. The trips usually involve lunch after. Sometimes I feel left out but at this stage in my life I need little.
barefootminimalists says
Hi Betsy! Thanks for giving it a read 🙂 Way to stay committed to your journey!